I had planned to have another poem ready for you guys today but recent happenings in my life have left me unable to concentrate. So I thought I’d share my worries and get it off my chest. Until now, I’ve only told a few selected friends and work colleagues plus my manager. Someone reading this might actually be going through the same thing. It’s a little bit weird but bear with me.
I’m not entirely sure but I guess it may have started around 6 months ago. I would wake up during the night having dreamt that I had swallowed something I shouldn’t have like a pill or coin. I’d then (semi-awake) proceed to cough up (while on my hands and knees in bed) what I’d dreamt I’d swallowed until I realised that I was dreaming. I usually lay back down and go straight off to sleep again. It happens maybe once every two to three weeks. I don’t know how it all started but last week it took to a whole new level.
I dreamt that I was going to be sick but I woke myself up by making a loud gurgling sound, then realised I couldn’t breath. It felt like I was suffocating. I panicked and thrashed around until I caught my breath again. I was sure that there was some sort of fluid at the back of my nose and throat blocking my airway. The whole experience has left me a little shocked and frightened. I’m just glad I woke up when I did.
The next night I was too scared to go to sleep but since then it hasn’t happened and my sleep pattern is slowly returning to normal. I have a doctor’s appointment booked for next week (yes my doctors are rubbish) so I’m hoping to get a diagnosis but thanks to google I think I know what it could be. Acid Reflux…. yep! never had it in my life but it sounds like the culprit. This is where the acidified liquid content of the stomach backs up into the esophagus which during the night can’t be controlled by the body as much because you swallow less and are laying down. I won’t go into any more detail… don’t want to put you off your meals 😛
But then again I could be completely wrong as with most of my self diagnosis’. There were the times when I thought I had protein deficiency and then there was the over-active thyroid which were both completely wrong. At the moment I also think I have the adult form of ADHD but that’s something I haven’t been tested for YET. But we’ll wait and see. I may also be a hypochondriac.